Guinea-Chairs

Guinea-chairs are the customary result of Basaltine's CHAOS spell.

                 CHAOS
 chairs  --------------------->  guinea pigs
          hellhoundish caster

Basaltine describes CHAOS as a spell designed to cause maximum panic and confusion. He's lying. Basaltine couldn't wield a spell with MI that sophisticated; CHAOS works on the assumption that a sudden influx of rodents tends to exacerbate any situation, and he only casts it when there are lots of women around in skirts.

CHAOS was invented before Mutt drew up the rules for magic in the Muttiverse. Basaltine no longer has this spell in official continuity. It's purely an old injoke.