Vampire (Ree)

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"I think I should warn you all, when a vampire bites it, it's never a pretty sight. No two bloodsuckers go the same way. Some yell and scream, some go quietly, some explode, some implode, but all will try to take you with them." -- Edgar Frog, [The Lost Boys]


Some vampires have access to powerful magics. Even those that don't may have some supernatural abilities, but this cannot be proven. The primary specimen to date is Pasht, who has magic up the butt and some to spare. Her physical strength (startling in so small a form), pallor, and awe-inspiring self-healing are doubtless part of her vampiric transformation, accompaning the primary change: bloodlust.


Vampires are often said to cast no reflection and to be invisible or blurry in photographs. Superstition connects images of oneself to one's soul and claims that these things happen because vampires are soulless. In reality, they're just fast buggers. Many a vampire has leapt in behind its prey as she turned her head from mirror to doorway behind her, making her believe that he was invisibly there all along. Photographic evidence is a nuisance to the long-lived and many-aliased monsters, so they often dash away as soon as they realise they are being photographed. On film, this appears as an empty spot or a vaguely human-shaped blur, depending on the observation skills and speed of the vampire in question.

(Writer's note: If this contradicts something I've said, please remind me of it so that I can reconcile my accounts.)

Vampiric Weaknesses

(from least to most effective): Holy symbols (excepting those with deep personal meaning) don't bother them. They can sleep wherever they please, at night instead of day if it pleases they. Running water, wild roses, and lack of engraved invitation do not deter them. Sunlight produces a severe, smoking suburn in moments, but can be prevented with magic or SPF 500. ;) Vampires suffer anaphylaxis to silver or garlic, but their innate regeneration heals them shortly after such an object is withdrawn. Subject Pasht is known to suffer various personality disorders, possibly due to some unknown effect of vampirism on an unusual human brain.

True Death

Lore holds that there are three sure ways to kill even vampires. The wooden stake through the heart has been infamous, but new subtypes of vampire are appearing that may be immune to this method. It is unknown which vampires rank among these impossibly unkillable vampires.

More effective methods are suggested for common use. Decapitation and incineration are recommended, as few major species can survive for long without her brains attached, and burns just really f'narking hurt, dude. Most researchers suggest burying the remains and covering them with garlic; if enough ash is left for the vampire to retain regeneration, the allergen cancels out this ability, and the vampire cannot rise again. Subtypes that do not die by stake are generally incapacitated by such, so all four methods combined are a hunter's best bet against a nasty vampire:

  1. Stake
  2. Chop
  3. Grill
  4. Garnish

Presto! You now have either a very dead-dead vampire or a lovely Martha Stewart dish. If the latter is the case, repeat steps as needed; some species of evil are very resilient.

I still find the numbered list entirely too comical. --Ree
It is delightful. --...Mutt

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Last edited March 10, 2006 6:40 am by Ree