A male Instarrian would give off mixed gender signals to a generic human. A manly Instarrian male is small and lithe, narrow-hipped but with a feminine air. A feminine Instarrian female is on average a small amount taller, curved in an understated elven way, and not by default physically stronger or weaker than a male her size. Females do not appear masculine to offworlders, more as both female and 'alien', although they tend to have authority; men will tend to look to a woman automatically, all else being equal.
The height ranges in Instarrians (which look like the usual bell curve) are almost exactly overlapped, much more than with many humanoids. The mean value for females is slightly higher. Aesthetically speaking, a woman should seek a partner a small, exactly-specified amount shorter than her.
Before marriage, young Instarrians perform the same roles for their parents and family. Single Instarrians living alone do exist, but are considered to lack the qualities of the other sex, or 'other half'.
The stereotypical male is creative and intuitive, agile, a skill-worker, and uses his muscles. He looks for a woman who will organise his life, raise his children and support (or protect) him emotionally.
Neither gender is typically more 'cooperative' or 'competitive' than the other. Both tend to seek one major ally (and generally marry them) and then it's the two of them against the world. Both sexes are tactile among friends of their own sex, and tactile in a chaste way with the opposite sex. Both will have their own circle of friends, mostly of their own sex, to talk about things that clueless other sex just can't understand.
Prostitutes are all male, and some males go to them. Dancers and entertainers, which are socially acceptable jobs for someone actively looking for a spouse, can be male or female.
The political class (hereditary) is equal women and boys. Domestic violence is just about exactly equal between the sexes. So is the makeup of the army, although when you get to the upper ranks, women again gravitate towards commanding roles and admin jobs.
Boys tend to be more worried about being objectified by women than the reverse. Typical sexist insults go like this:
Instar ideals of beauty are different for male and female, but equally fussily applied by husband- or wife-hunters.
There are standards of desirable behaviour and skills too. If you're looking for a wife, you'd want her to have aptitude for strategy, calculating the household accounts and schedule and forging friendships and alliances, and good manners. If you're looking for a husband you'd want demureness, the ability to fight if necessary to defend your family, a profitable trade or skill, and good manners.
Manners are important.
Marriage, theoretically, is a true partnership, not the woman ordering the man around or vice versa, but both being considered 'employees' of the partnership and having expected roles.
It's up to individuals to arrange their own marriage; their parents' role is limited to nagging.
All marriage is between males and females. If you're a gay boy or a woman who really can't stand her husband, you marry anyway and see a prostitute - nobody talks about this overtly, but nobody would criticise you either. On Instar all prostitutes are male. The idea of gay females is completely taboo, but presumably they make their own arrangements.
But there are no rules against males entering typically-female occupations, or vice-versa. They might be teased by their friends, but as long as they don't start behaving in a boyish/womanly way, there's no problem.
|Tradesworker||M||Typically more capable, precise and patient with physical skills.|
|Management||F||A wife will often run a tradesman husband's business.|
|Composer||F||Females are viewed as more musically gifted, in contrast to most of the other arts.|
|Writer||Both||Boys usually write literature for boys, women for women.|
|Poet||more M||Poetry is a slightly boyish hobby.|
|Painter||M||Fine skills are more for boys.|
|Weaver (trade or art form)||M||Not correlated to kittyness.|
|Chef||M||Intricate knifework and creativity.|
|Science||F||'Science' is loosely defined, generally scholarly.|
|Law||F||Keen on order, institution and precedent; persuasive and logically-minded.|
|Construction||M, often with F foreman||Neither sex is (traditionally) more muscular.|
|Architect||F||Able to switch between overview and detail thinking.|
|Dancer||M||Grace is desirable in a husband. Unmarried males often become dancers to try to get a wife.|
|Soldier||Both||Regiments are often made up of married couples and the single soldiers are encouraged to pair off.|
|Strategist||F, some M||Females are methodical, organised and multi-tasking, thoroughly grounded in theory but not always innovative. Males make more impulsive, intuitive decisions.|
[as Weft describes them here].