Mutty Foo

Müttly Föe (pronounced moitly fur), affectionately called Mutty Foo by his author, is a '[Marty Stu]?/Gary Stu': an impossibly perfect, powerful, twinky and somewhat badly-written character.

He is the star of an epic fanfiction or series of fanfictions, most of which have never been seen by the public (except for more or less painful excerpts, for some of which see the Internet Links below). This is generally regarded as a mercy.

1. Annoying Origin

2. Annoying Special Abilities

3. Annoying Connections to Canon Characters

4. Wonderful Special Quotations

5. Wonderful Special Internet Links

1. Annoying Origin

Müttly Föe came out of a random Vampire: The Masquerade generator that gave Mutt an implausible character (with powers his tribe shouldn't have, and a high-ranking authority figure despite being independent of sect). Mutt did not realise the contradictions there, (still) not having read any Vampire rules, but an expert found it funny.

At this point a throwaway online quiz took on a sinister life of its own. Mutt decided the term for a neuter Mary Sue/Marty Stu was Mutty Foo, and this became the character's name - until he selected maleness, decided the name wasn't cool enough, and added heavy metal umlauts!, resulting in Müttly Föe.

Then Mütt gave him more appropriate powers as befit his specially important status.

2. Annoying Special Abilities

To date, Müttly Föe:

• is a vampire, with the stereotypical strengths and weaknesses.
• is a second generation vampire (not one of the tribe progenitors... another second gen). He pretends to be a later (less powerful) generation. (Vampire: the Masquerade)
• is a Ventrue, and can only feed on the blood of bishies. (Vampire: the Masquerade)
• has Serpentis power which, given the extent of his author's White Wolf knowledge, means "a forked tongue and I get to throw in random snakiness, yay". (Vampire: the Masquerade)
• has extensive magical powers, given to him by Saruman the White. (Lord of the Rings)
• is the son of the Master vampire and Angua von Überwald. (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Discworld) (note: the mechanics of this have never been explained, nor has how Müttly Föe could still be a second-generation White Wolf vampire)
  • is therefore half werewolf.
    • is (half) rank six White Howler Abomination ("but" the Abomination part "wasn't my fault"). (Werewolf: The Apocalypse) [For non-WW players, all of this is twinky and most is impossible. Thanks are due to Simon for helping discover these particulars about Müttly Föe.] (note: the mechanics of this have never been explained, nor has how Müttly Föe could still be part Buffy vampire, part Discworld werewolf and a second-generation White Wolf vampire)
• is Darth Maul's cousin, hinted, or possibly just a childhood friend; surpassed him in skill and they subsequently fell out. (Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace)
• is the One; Neo is an unwitting case of mistaken identity but Müttly Föe lets him take the credit because he dislikes limelight (well, vampire, duh). (The Matrix)
• has a "magic long black elven leather coat that made him invincible to sunlight".
• has special mutated midichlorians (midichlörians?). (Star Wars)
• has colour-changing eyes.
• has nails that turn into claws and look reallycool.
• has super-fast healing power. (X-Men films)
• is an alias anyway; the real name is twenty words long and its discovery will be a significant plot point.

In addition to his explicity stated powers, Müttly Föe commits the usual Stu crimes of making canon figures act out-of-character, fall in lüv with him and have hott bishy sëx with him. In addition, they often change their names to have more umlauts in - an apparently-unique Stü power.

3. Annoying Connections to Canon Characters

Müttly Föe is bisexual and "polyamrous", which seems to mean "no need to write breakups before moving onto the next bishysexscene yay". Müttly Föe's known romances to date:

• Ëöwÿn, née Éowyn (from Lord of the Rings films)
• Legöläs, né Legolas
• Gälädrïël, née Galadriel, hinted but not explicitly stated
• Wÿllö Treads-the-Darkness, née Willow Rosenberg (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
• Trinity (from The Matrix films), "achingly beautiful yearning" not consummated because "it would be Wrong"
• Severus Snape (from Harry Potter books though incorporating lots of fandom stereotypes), threatened
• Smith
• Mëwtwö, né Mewtwo (from Pokémon), strongly hinted

It is generally assumed that the umlauts do not affect the pronunciation of the names, except for Müttly Föe himself ("moitly fur").

Given the snake connection, it is not improbable that Äzïraphälë (Good Omens, Pratchett & Gaiman) will be next to suffer. The Stüthor promises to select a suitably bad forbidden-fruit-related chapter title if this is the case.

4. Wonderful Special Quotations

• Müttly Föe paused in the doorway and adjusted his magic long black elven leather coat that made him invincible to sunlight. "Do not say goodbye, fair Ëöwÿn, only say See You Soon."
• "[I] Don't actually bleed much either, because I am a vampire (half) and because after a freak teleporter accident involving some people called Rogue and Logan, I have super-fast healing power," chirped Müttly Föe helpfully.
• Müttly Föe sobbed in a manful way.
• "Goodbye my dark vampiric yet caring lover." Ëöwÿn whispered
• Müttly Föe's forked tongue flicked over his blood-red lips. [...] Müttly Föe halted and struck a pose with a grin that refracted the light and looked really cool.
• "Prince Zetetnic Peristals Müttly Föe da Schwarzwelt is my shortened name--" said Müttly Föe.
• "Yay!" said Müttly Föe.

5. Wonderful Special Internet Links

• [An example of Müttly Föe's specialness], written by a self-parodying author.
• [Müttly Föe's sister]. Because one Foo is never enough.
• [Slen writes Müttly Föe, yay!]
• [Complete listing of Müttly Föe adventures.]